First Post About a Season of Lasts...

As I stare down at my precious little baby, I realize that nap time really is my favorite time of day.  No, that is not because it is the only time that I have some peace and quiet (okay, maybe a little bit of that).  Penny will be 2 a week from today and I can't help but wonder, will I recognize the last time?  The last time I lay down to nurse her at nap time, or the last time she reaches up for me to hold her. Some of the "lasts", last diaper change for instance, will be welcomed.  But I can honestly say I do not welcome saying goodbye to the few minutes each day where it becomes just her and I.  Everything seems to slow down.  I hear only the sound of her breathing and the birds chirping outside.  She transitions from a hyper toddler with all the energy in the world, to a peacefully sleeping baby with a full tummy and dreamland in front of her.  I don't have a specific memory of any "last" with Gabby.  I do remember getting her 2 year pictures taken and she nursed a little bit during that session.  I know that was ONE of the last times.  I am glad I have that picture to look back on.  Sweet Gabby still asks to be held from time to time, and I try to oblige.  I do know that, no matter what, I have tried to be present with both my girls.  I feel their childhood speeding by like grains of sand through my fingertips.  I want to hold on tighter to keep them frozen in this time, but I also want to open my arms wide and let them run head first into the direction that God has laid for them.


I can't wait to see what the next second, minute, hour, day, brings into their lives.  But as a woman who has so much of my identity wrapped up in being a mom, how do I let myself surrender their grains of sand, and start following my own?  A question all mothers ask themselves at one point or another, I am sure.